Something

This is one of those journal entries that starts out as a blank page in front of me, knowing there was something profound or funny or deep that I wanted to write EARLIER, but of course I can't for the life of me remember what the heck that was now. And then I realized, I just want to write something. I'm listening to the list of songs I'm planning for my movie, and I have a few minutes, and I'm feeling inspired but reluctant for some reason, to write something.

So I'll write about the music. The songs came at me rapid-fire, pow-pow-pow, just like that, and they are all PERFECT. The irony is these are songs that have been around for a while: Toto's "Africa", The Alan Parsons Project's "Eye In the Sky", the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive", and the kicker for me was Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" - the lyrics to that song fit so perfectly with how those of us in the production departments all over the country feel about coming to work, it's almost proverbial.

And for the love scene? Well, "Africa" is one of them, but far more profoundly to me is the Pointer Sisters' "Automatic": that was written for my movie, I'm sure of it:

Look what you're doin' to me
I'm utterly at your whim
All of my defenses down
Your camera looks through me
With it's X-ray vision
And all systems run aground

All I can manage to push from my lips is a stream of absurdities
Every word I intended to speak winds up locked in the circuitry

No way to control it
It's totally automatic
Whenever you're around
I'm walkin' blindfolded
Completely automatic
All of my systems go down, down, down, down

Automatic

What is this madness
That makes my motor run
My legs too weak too stand
I go from sadness
To exhilaration
Like a robot at your command

My hands perspire and shake like a leaf, up and down goes my temperature
I summon doctors to get some relief but they tell me there is no cure

They tell me,

No way to control it
It's totally automatic
Whenever you're around
I'm walkin' blindfolded
Completely automatic
All of my systems go down, down, down, down

Seriously ... this song was written for my movie! What better way to describe how a person on the techie side of the biz (production) falls in love?

A surprise find for me recently is Joe Satriani's "Flying in a Blue Dream", because the music in that song is so perfect for the mood I'm trying to convey ... there is nothing worse than getting the "blue screen of death", especially in our line of work. And believe me, it happens, way too often. We've built our whole industry on computers and digital signals now; the blue screen of death is far more significant because the stakes are much higher now. For all of us.

Well, perhaps I'm being too melodramatic. But then what good is a movie without drama???

I can't wait to start marketing the movie. That is going to be the fun part. Shooting the movie is the part I'm least looking forward to. I hate shooting; it's always a disagreeable venture. I hope I get to edit it. I want to edit it; but I'm not very talented or knowledgeable with that stuff, so I may have to recruit somebody to do that part. But we'll see, there's still time.

Time. I would like to have this done in 12 months. I think I can do it.

Casting the characters ... wheeee!!! I can't wait to do that part too.

There was something else I wanted to jot down here ... that escapes me just now. Well, I made some more notes yesterday. Didn't write actual dialogue, however I got to just do nothing but focus on my movie and make notes. I'm trying to figure out the flow of action ... admittedly that part is not coming so easily. I can tell it's there; I'm just having trouble connecting the dots. It will come to me in a rush of inspiration one day and that is how I'll figure it out.

Oh, I remember what I wanted to say: the week before last was so profound for me, the week starting Feb. 22, 2009. It kind of had it's beginnings the week before from reading Felicia Day's blog. But I never could have imagined what it would turn into. I swear I'm a different person because of those events (Hugh Jackman hosting the magnificent 81st Emmy Awards on Sunday; LeWar on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; Conan O'Brien visiting my place of work on Friday). I just hope I can keep up this energy long enough to see my project through to completion.

Something tells me I don't think that will be a problem this time.

Tragic

This morning at work, while I was going through my rundown marking camera shots, I came across the kind of sad story that I've been dreading for many years now. Granted, this is not as earth-shattering as if it were somebody closer to me, like my husband ... but still sad nonetheless.

There on the rundown I saw the slugline which said simply, "Peter Tork."

"Oh no," I said. "No, no, no, no ... "

I fumbled with the mouse trying to double-click on the line to bring up the story. I quickly scanned it for the bad news, and then breathed a sigh of relief - it wasn't as bad as I thought, but still bad.

Peter Tork has been diagnosed with a rare form of head and neck cancer. Apparently though, so the story goes, the prognosis is "good". Not sure what that means, but okay, I'll take that.

I used to be a HUGE fan of the Monkees. Actually that is a glaring understatement. I probably should have been locked-up in a padded cell, and no doubt many people wanted to do just that to me back then, but I was literally psycho-crazy for them once upon a time. My BFF Denise and I were partners in crime scoping out which hotel they were staying at, hoping to get a picture (the "trophy" if ever there was one) and autographs ... and anything else we could get our hands on! We followed them through Michigan, Ohio, and I went all the way to Los Angeles in the summer of 1989 to see them get their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame ... July, 1989, holy cow. I just found a YouTube video of that event (not a very good one, I didn't listen to it with the sound up either) - I CANNOT believe that's been 20 years!!!



... I could go on and on. Lucky for you dear reader, I am getting cut short to go back to work ...

March madness

In my attempt to keep to my promise to write something on my movie every day, even if it's just a blog post like this one to remind myself that I still have to finish writing it, here is my entry for today.

It seems like I didn't get much written yesterday (Thursday), but I keep forgetting that I mostly spent the hours between midnight yesterday and now either sleeping or working my normal 8-hour shift. And spending time with the hubby of course, that's very important.

The day before however, whoa ... I got a LOT written! And I was able to jot down some ideas at work this morning. But wow, the dialogue I got written yesterday; I was on fire! Of course, I think most of it will need some work done on it, but I got almost a whole entire scene written, would work out to be maybe ... hm ... well, a few minutes worth of movie I think.

I'm actually kind of glad I have other things demanding my attention besides writing the movie, because I find my inspiration comes when I'm in the middle of doing something else.

Oh - and I came across the BEST QUOTE EVER today, by Lewis Carroll:

"Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

That shall become my mantra for getting this movie done, hee hee.

Baby steps

I am now toying with the idea of simply shooting the scene I wrote yesterday, just to get my feet wet. I mean, why make myself wait until I've got the whole thing written? Why not just jump in and flippin' DO it???

Although I am feeling ansy to write some more, especially as it pertains to the main idea of the plot. I hope I get some time to do that today. *lesigh* I wish I could say, "Maybe I'll go to a coffee shop and do some writing there," except I know that's exactly what I WON'T do, because rather than being havens, I find coffee shops to be wildly distracting for writing purposes. I guess it just depends.

Well one thing I know for sure: I sure will have a better chance of getting something substantive written AFTER hubby goes to bed. :D

(But I do need to just pick up a friggin camera and SHOOT something. And get some editing software, no matter how basic and stripped down it is, and get to work...)

Getting back to filmmaking

My favorite thing about the camera: it allows me to show the world what it looks like through my eyes. I am reading a terrific article that is whetting my appetite to get back into movie-making.

I've actually begun to think about writing again, meaning dialogue in terms of how it's written into a script:

Icabod takes her hand and continues gazing at her.

Icabod
You know, I think I'm falling in love with you.

Aziza holds his gaze lovingly, tears welling up in her eyes. They squeeze each other's hands.

Aziza
I feel like I'm going to burst with things to say, but just as I'm about to say it, nothing sounds right!

She laughs and then pauses.

Aziza
I'm falling in love with you too.

She pauses again, this time breaking his gaze for the first time in several minutes to look down at their clasped hands.

Aziza
We have to take it slowly though. I feel so happy right now...

She raises her head to look into his eyes again.

Aziza
... and yet I also feel cautious. You understand.

Icabod nods, closing his eyes briefly before returning her gaze intensely.

Icabod
Yes I do. It's ok, I feel the same way.

Hidden in the shadows behind another tree, peering at the two lovers, Lilian watches wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She is surprised and stands transfixed watching the scene play out.

Lilian
Mutters quietly to herself.
Oh my God... oh my God, she finally went through with it!!!

Standby by Sarah Apsey-Barres is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.